Winter: It’s too cold, I don’t wanna go outside
Summer: It’s too hot, I don’t wanna go outside
In-between: …………..I don’t wanna go outside
High School Vivian: I don’t think I can ever be in a relationship with an Asian guy.
FIRST BOYFRIEND IS ASIAN.
College Vivian: I don’t think I can ever date a white guy.
DATES WHITE GUYS.
Future Vivian: I don’t think I can ever be with Diego Luna.
Today I learned about dysemmia, “a state in which individuals lack control over the ways they navigate their bodies through space.” Some of the behavior that people with dysemmia exhibit:
- they laugh too loud or at the wrong times;
- they make stupid or embarrassing remarks;
- they don’t seem to get the message when given a broad hint or even told outright to behave differently;
- they mistake friendly actions for hostile ones, or vice versa;
- they move too slowly, or too fast, for everyone else;
- their facial expressions don’t jibe with what they or others are saying, or
- their appearance is seriously out of step with current fashions, they don’t dress well for the occasion, etc.
- they are known to stare at people…do something that annoys other people or make them feel uncomfortable
- they have problem dating and interacting with the opposite sex in a romantic way. Many dyssemics are love-shy.”
Caller ID: ”Ex-boyfriend”
Ex: *no answer*
Me: *calls back*
Ex: Sorry I butt-dialed you.
Me: SO IT WAS A BOOTY CALL
I am beautiful
on the inside, but that ain’t
gettin’ me free drinks.
It’s around this time of year
when I start to disappear.